everyonefandomcom-20200213-history
YOUTUBERS LIFE (Part 1)/transcript
I am the first one to have ever played this game before, You are in great luck. This game is gonna be so fucking good!! You can tell just by looking at it. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. I am so excited to play this game, I'm sure that everyone who played this game is playing it, because they think its a really good game, and not because they think it's gonna get a lot of clicks on YouTube, because of the title of the game, and you tell me right now, that THAT is not a copy of me. They're using my likeness for this fucking shit! HOW DO THEY EVEN GET AWAY WITH USING YOUTUBERS IN THE TITLE!? WHY ARE THEY BLURRING THE GAMEPLAY!? What is it, some fucking porn he's looking at!? New game, please! Finally, I've made it. I am the most popular YouTuber. This game is PLAGIARIZING! It's been a long, hard trip... No it... I just uploaded some videos and people watched it... It's not that big a deal. Alright well let's... ah, 'create Pewdiepie'. wub wubs No that's... I don't have to change anything. Just need to change the eye color. And I have a beard now, so (Unfortunately) "Personality". Well... That one? That one? ...no not THAT one... ...and that one and... that one and.. ...that one! Okay, we're gonna do a gameplay video. (What a surprise) The fuck is this?? Alright, what should we call the video?? "BIG ASS BOOTY...SEX TAPE PEWIDPEIE." (GONE WRONG, GONE SEXUAL) Okay there we are, making the gameplay, What am I doing? (Making the gameplay?) I'm choosing reactions. Okay. "Unfunny Comment." (Not the first time on this channel) (laugh) ( Stop staring, you are turning me on) (Too late) Fuck you game! (Game; "Fuck you back" ) What are you trying to tell me here? Alright it's about to edit the video... okay? Let's add some coloring and...titl- let's add a funny title there. (Acting like a pro editor) Oh boy, this is gonna be a great video. (Nope, it never will Pewds) "ACTING." What are you telling me here?? (That you are acting) This is the life of YouTuber right here... (We know, we've seen you) 'S pretty much it in a nutshell. Okay, we can sellout... "Accept an order for at least..." Okay. Sellout is definitely a huge part of being a YouTuber. We're gonna play 'Giant Gorillas Soccer.' (Learn how to pronounce, god damn it) "Start a video..." We're gonna do a gameplay. God this game is boring me to death. (So are you) Go! Make the video! What am I doing to the game?! Fucking kissing it?! Come on, game... PLEASE I need the views! (We know Pewds) No one's covered "Gorilla Soccer 2" yet!(Pewds before posting a video) THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT ONE! (Pewds before posting a video) THIS IS GONNA BE THE WINNER!(Pewds before posting a video) "Insane gorilla takes bath of brofist with me..." okay that's it. Hey, we got 6 subscribers!!! 24 views!!! MOM! Get the fuck out mom! (Mom *sad*) I'm busy staring at my closet! "School called me and you missed a lot of classes." Fuck you, mom! I'm gonna be a YouTuber one day mom~! (Mom;"Why did I raise a failure?") We can look at the comments... "I've loved watching this gameplay." (No one does Pewds) "I can't believe that a self-proclaimed YouTuber is this bad at editing." "Take some classes, for the sake of your own users." (Thank God someone said it) ALLYSON! YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU!! What're you wearing?! You look like trash! (Has he ever looked in a mirror?) "League of giants..." Done. Okay, another title... another title. How do you do titles? (Searching for Drama Alert) Oh I get it. You just put "PEWDIEPIE" in there... GOT IT. This'll surely get a lot of views. Make an "unfunny comment"... BOOM Look! I'm Jacksepticeye!! (and Pewds) "GOT EEEM!!!" Why have I not made any money yet?! (Because you suck?) I've been doing YouTube for years! Where's dat fucking money?! (takes 8 million a year) Okay, so now time is passing... we made $2. Fuck yeah we made $2.(Pewds is finally happy) Look how depressed I am. This game really IS realistic. (He said it, not me) What the fuck am i doing?! Just walkin in to stare at the corner? At least it's more fun than doing this shit. (Or watching your videos) Come on, Pewdiepie! Come outta there! You gotta make another video dude! Come on Poodiepie... you gotta make another video, like every fucking day! Come on, man! Come on, buddy... Oh, that's it! I know you need dat money! (*Caughs* 8 million) You fucking greedy, little bitch! Oh ho... oh, look at him forcing a smile! (What is he doing now?) Yeah, let's make a happy expression... there you go. (Fake) Those idiots! They bought it! Another happy expression! Oh my god! (i hate pewdiepie, pewdiepie sucks) Let's force out a funny comment. (Finally he admits it) Nailed it. Okay, we got some comments. "If you don't know how to record videos properly," "You shouldn't be a YouTuber. That's how it is. Buh-bye." (i hate pewdiepie, pewdiepie sucks) Fuck you. Got 40 likes on that bitch. Ugh~ (bling) 40 likes on that mudafucka! Forty... two! FUCK YOU! What'd you say? Who disliked that shit!? (Everybody Pewds) Mom! Mom! Was that you again? I hate you, mom. You don't understand me. I got more views than you mom, shut up. Oh, there's our new game. Okay. Okay, we're playing this horror game. Let's... let's give it murderous look that always works. o o. o.O That's a classic Pewdiepie seller right there o.O Okay let's make an off-topic comment. I got haircut today waddaya guys think?~ Is it uhh... is it good? You guys like it? The self-realization of what a piece of shit you are while playing this game... Alright we can promote this vid... okay we can self-advertise. Alright let's uhh... let's do that. "Hi guys..." Uh no no no. You gotta trick em... ...you gotta trick em like it's an actual comment. "Great video. Really watched... watched all of it, honestly. BTW," "Check out my channel and subscribe please need more subcs thank you very much." Boom. Man YouTube life is EASY!! This is some straight-up bullshit! "You're losing subscribers." OH GOD! RED ALERT RED ALERT! What do we do!? We're losing subs! Oh god... make a new video, make a new video fast! We gotta make a new video fast! Whatever we got whatever! Broken words? Got it. I'll make another video! I'll make 50 videos! I don't give a shit. Just crank that shit out. "Here ya go, you ungrateful sonovabitches." Alright... okay... alright : "Hello! Wait... let's do a..uh, a singing comment!" "OOM WACHA SAAAY~ MMM DAT YA ONLY MEANT WELL~" Let's do professional comment : "Oh wow! The graphics in this game looks very cool!" "The 1080p resolution is just... wow!" Man, I am so good at making videos. This shit does itself... let's... eh... just... yeah this is how you EDIT. Where's my next paycheck?! Thank you very much! Where's the option to randomly yell at this uh... at the camera? AGHHHHH! Where's the option to be fake scared? "What the fuck, this guy is not gonna go anywhere." "This guy is clearly an amateur." Okay, we can decorate our desk, erm... Yeah what can we do...? Uh... Let's buy the cheapest thing... What's that? A lava lamp. That's pretty cool. Oh shit we failed our grades, mum is gonna be so pissed... Once she's done staring at the- OH MY GOD SHE TELEPORTED. What is she doing?! NOO MOM NOOO!!! NOOO!!!! Mom!! What are you doing?! I'm gonna lose so many subscribers, mum. Nooo... Does my mom even know that that's not the actual computer? (chuckle) What a dumb bitch! Oh god we gotta make a new video fast before we lose any more subscribers! "Hundred.... one... flawless gameplay." Lets add some copyrighted music! HAHAHAHA I would never do that shit!! That's unethical, man! Oh boy this is gonna be a long video. If the video is more than 10 minutes, we're gonna make double AdSense. Come on! Drag out the outro! Make the outro longer! Make the outro another 50 minutes! Oh my god, the video quality is up the roof! I'm up there now with the big YouTubers! "Greetings, are you Felix Kjellburr..." "I heard you record videos." "Could you record a video game and upload it?" "I'll send you the game." Free game! Absolutely. 100 likes! Boom! That's the new record! Fuck yeah! I'm the best YouTuber in the world! Oh, I got a new game, "Horrifying Sewers!" No one has ever played "Horrifying Sewers!" This is the new horror game! It's gonna bring my channel to new levels. We gotta upload it fast! Fuck the quality, fuck the content, It's gotta go up fast! "Scariest game ever scared of holy shit died... uhh... peed a little." Bam, that's the title. Alright we're gonna start up with some copyrighted music, get it rolled like uh... um...get a... fuck, I don't care "Murderous look." o.O Jam! Nailed it. Ok we gotta make a "serious comment." : "Wow this game looks really cool! I'm so into this!" Alright let's pretend we're happy playing it... uh no, fuck that. Lets make it a "Murderous Look!" o.O Works every time! Those... fangirls are goin crrrrrazy! This is my greatest video. This is my best video I've ever made. I'm SO proud. Aw shit, we got a copyright strike... Not this shit again! I don't wanna deal with this bullshit! (cha ching) Look how sad I am. Look how sad YouTube has made me. I'm a sad, sad man. This is the truth behind YouTube. We're all depressed... Why would anyone want to become a YouTuber? For the fame? For the money? For the mom-yelling-at-you? Look at me... Look at what I am... Look at my shitty content... Was it worth it? I don't know. I've gotten so many views... but at the same time, I'm Pewdiepie... you know what I mean? ...just feel dirty. I used to be so young and innocent... Look at me. Now, look at me now. You don't wanna be a YouTuber. Get a real job. xD I don't wanna do this shit anymore. I quit! I can't quit... how do I quit??? I'm deleting this game and I'm deleting my channel. I said dirty! Dirty and disgusting! I can't do this shit anymore! I'm out! Fuck you. Fuck everyone. (cry) I'm going back to selling hotdogs. Now you know how it works! No... but for real... uhhh This game wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I don't know if it's my type of game but it was fun to check out! Leave a like if you enjoyed watching, and uhh now you know all my secrets so uh I guess I really should just quit. I think for all YouTubers can agree on that it's- it's... lot of work, It's really stressful, but we do it because we love it. A lot of people seem to see YouTube as a way to get famous or get money. Just make videos because you enjoy making them. That's my #1 tip from #1 hypocrite. C U later ma lil clit... sorry ok um... stay awesome bros! Category:Transcript Category:PewDiePie